The Kaiba who Stole Christmas
by Jenrya Lee
Summary: Hi-es! Jenrya Again! Well, one Kaiba gets a bit mad about Christmas....It's Seto, O.K? R&r! ^_~


**The Kaiba Who Stole Christmas **

By: Jenrya Lee

Note: What? Everyone is doing a Christmas fic!

A.A.N {Another Author Note}: Humor! And well, think.....Seto...Christmas.....*shakes head no*

            Seto Kaiba sat in his big fluffy red chair, sipping hot cocoa. Actually, planing ways to decapitate Yugi. Since they never _really_ became friends (A/N: Ignore 'Enemies Nightmare'!) Kaiba....well, still hated Yugi. A bit. O.K, a whole bit. FINE, loathed Yugi. And when Mokuba said he went ahead and invited Yugi to the Christmas Party, Kaiba's first reaction was that he glared at Mokuba and accidently spilled his first cup of really hot cocoa on his pants. His second reaction was screaming in pain. But Kaiba was past that. He only suffered a slight third degree burn on his finger, and burned cashmere pants. He changed his pants, and locked the door. Then he realized something. 'Those were my favorite pants! And it was all because of a Christmas issue! I will steal Christmas! MWAHAHA!!!' 

~*~

            Kaiba went to the basement, were a new 3004 super fast sled laid. He needed a reindeer..... Kaiba looked through his Duel Monsters deck. He had reindeer related cards.....so he used Blue Eyes White Dragon. What? A dragon can fly! "Blue Eyes White Dragon needs those little things reindeer have on their heads.....antlers! Yes, antlers!" Kaiba went and got the 'Think 'n Get' 4004 and got a pair of antlers for his BEWD. "They look real....to real. Bluey, we're stealing Christmas!" BEWD rolled his eyes. 'He does this every year.....' Blue Eyes White Dragon thought.

            Kaiba looked through his clothes, and picked out a Santa costume he stole off some stupid guy with a bell in the street. 'I wonder what that man was doing!' He put it on, and frowned when he realized it made him look quite stupid. He got in the 3004 sled, with BEWD flying. Sad to say, the 3004 Super-Sled can fly on it's own, and all the weight of a Blue Eyes made the thing start to crash. Blue Eyes White Dragon reverted to a card. Kaiba sighed happily, and went to the first house on his list. Some kid named Mokuba Kaiba. 'He sounds familiar....oh, whatever, I'll go to the next kid on my list! Ryou Bakura.' Kaiba put the address in the computer, which was, '9874 Dark Bakura Street'. 

            _DING DONG._ Ryou opened the door, and a 32 caliber was pointed to his head. "SANTA! YOU CAME!" Ryou hugged Kaiba. Kaiba sweat-dropped. He looked at the caliber. He pulled the trigger. It was real, and loaded, why didn't it work?! Dark Bakura appeared. He took the caliber. "Just what I wanted! Thank you!" Dark Bakura slammed the door in Kaiba's face, who sweat-dropped. He simply looked at what other weapons he had to use on the next person on his list, 'Anzu Mazaki'. 'Wasn't she Yugi's girlfriend or something? O.K, I'll use the cross-bow.'

  


            "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! KAMI-SAMA! SANTA HAS A GUN! Wait, this is just like that Aerosmith song, 'Janie's got a gun'! How cool!' Anzu looked at the weapon more closely, and saw that it was a cross-bow. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Anzu screamed again. Kaiba rubbed his ears. 'Darn, this girl can scream!' Kaiba slammed the door, and desided to use the chimney.

~*~

            Hours later.....

            Kaiba put a rope down the chimney, and start to climb down. He saw a fat man in a Santa suit, with a white beard. The man looked up at Kaiba. "Young man, you have become quite evil! That is why I never got you and your brot-" Kaiba kicked the man in face, since he was above Santa; due to the rope. "Damn right you didn't!" Kaiba looked down at the man, frowning. He was still conscious. "Look mister, _I'M_ stealing Christmas, you just go on and find something else to ruin people's lives!" Kaiba said, ready to kill the stubby Santa. "But I'm San–" "I don't care if your Exodia the Forbidden! I'M STEALING CHRISTMAS!" Kaiba quickly climbed down the rope, and punched Santa in the face, smiling. Unconscious. 'Finally. The kick should have knocked the stuffing out of him!' Kaiba said, walking through the opening in the chimney, and stealing the presents and small, plastic tree. He went and put it on his sled, and went to the 'Jounouchi's. (A/N: Yes, Jounouchi's. Jounouchi is his last name, and his first is Katsua.) 

~*~

            Kaiba expertly went down the ramshackle old chimney, and stole the....one gift that said 'To: Jou  From: Yugi' Kaiba shrugged and went on to the next house.

~*~

            Kaiba stole the gifts of Honda, Weevil (forgot Japanese name), Rex Raptor (forgot japanese name), went back to Bakura's and stole his gifts, Yugi, Mai, Miho (season one character), Pegusus (Even though the security was tough!), and many more! He went back to his house and locked all the gifts in the basement. He happily changed and went to check on Mokuba, who was crying. Kaiba went over to his brother, worried. "Mokuba–" "Some horrible person stole Christmas! And I bought gifts for practically in town!" Mokuba said through sobs. "How about the presents people gave you?" Kaiba asked uncertainly. He never got Christmas. It just never appealed to him. Now....he hurt his brother. And that hurt him. "So? I don't care what people got me!" Mokuba said, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "I just worked so hard to get everyone a gift...." Mokuba said, sneaking unnoticed glances at Kaiba, who seemed a bit guilty. 

~*~

            Everyone awoke Christmas morning, happy to see their gifts back. While one Kaiba sat in a chair in the mansion, exhausted. 'I got all the freaking gifts back.' Kaiba thought happily. He glanced at there tree, which had no gifts under them. Kaiba realized how sad he suddenly was. "Not a single gift in years....." Kaiba said, sadly getting up and walking to his room. "Big brother! Onni-San, wait!" Mokuba yelled, grabbing his brothers ice-cold hand, from Kaiba's late night journey around town, trying to return all the gifts. "Yes?" Kaiba said, looking at Mokuba, his eyes still cold, but sadness was in them as well. "This year I'm going to give you a gift Seto!"  Mokuba said, giving Kaiba a huge box. Kaiba took it. "No. Return it to the store." Kaiba continued his way up the stairs, when Mokuba called out to him again. "Well, I disobeyed you again, and set up a small party!" Mokuba said. Kaiba glared at Mokuba, and lifted his hand to smack him, but stopped half-way, and immediately dropped his hand. He remembered a time Gozuburo hit him so hard that blood left his lips, and he had a black eye. Gozuburo ended up breaking Kaiba's nose, and Kaiba was so hurt he had to go to the hospital, and was forced to say that he fell on a rock. This happened on Christmas. Kaiba hated that memory, and hated Christmas. He continued running up the stairs, putting his fingers in his ears, and didn't hear the bell ring. That memory repeated. He laid in his bed, angry. Mokuba walked in the room; Yugi, Honda, Anzu, Bakura, and Jounouchi behind him. "Hi Kaiba!" "Ey Seto!" "Merry Christmas!" "Top o' the morning to yah!" "Konnichi wa!" Kaiba glared at all five of them at once. "What do_ you_ want?" Kaiba demanded. All five gave him a gift. Kaiba pointed across the hall. "Mokuba's room is that way." Kaiba said sternly. "We know." Yugi said, walking toward Kaiba. "So why the he– wait a minute, Mokuba's room is to small. I understand. Well, leave the gifts in the corner there." Kaiba said, pointing to the corner. "These are for you, silly!" Anzu said. Kaiba took out his wallet. "How much did he pay you?" Kaiba asked, looking at Mokuba. "Nothing. Merry Christmas Seto Kaiba." Jounouchi said. Kaiba was taken aback, and slightly touched his cheek, were he remembered getting hit first. "We all know about the abusive Gozuburo. It wasn't your fault. Why not celebrate Christmas with us?" Bakura asked nicely. Kaiba shook his head. Everyone shrugged and went to the party, but they left there gift by the door, each one with a note on it saying, "To The Kaiba who _Nearly_ Stole Christmas"

(Jenrya: Good? R&R! E-Mails welcomed!)  


End file.
